Cuentos IMAG0385

Publicado en enero 2014 |

123

Un muerto es quien más sufre

Un cuento de la escritora ecuatoriana Ana Minga.

por Ana Minga

“Yo soy quien escribe la historia de mi padre
y le tomo fotos a su muerte, y te dedico la historia
y su cámara…”
~ Santiago Andrade

Desde que nació ya estaba muerto, pero lo obligaron a vivir de alguna manera cuando le gritaron que en este mundo las personas no velan siempre por otras, menos por un muerto, que al tercer día, apesta…
Su saliva era espesa y su boca olía a tabaco, más esa mañana en que fue un muerto íntegro junto al mar… cuando se vio traicionado por el amor, por ese al que le decía “contigo todo, sin ti nada”. Ese día el muerto supo que amar significaba jamás…
Solo los perros pueden perdonar, ellos que después de ser abandonados por sus dueños, reaparecen muy delgados, estropeados, sedientos, heridos… dispuestos a amar a quienes los traicionaron… ellos, este muerto: ¡No!
Este muerto siempre fue muy nervioso, el médico le ordenó ir al mar para que calme su corazón. En la medicina recetada estuvo la mortal imagen de la miseria humana. Ellos caminaban en la orilla, tan alegres, tomados de la mano, parecía que su acuerdo tenía meses atrás, el asesinato había sido planeado con tiempo… El ser amado estaba con alguien que siempre jodió el camino del muerto. (Doble traición, doble dolor). Lo vieron, huyeron. El amor había terminado: el muerto cayó sobre la arena.
Después de esta flecha en su corazón, sabía que su realidad sería terrible, pues un muerto íntegro estorba; ni los amigos lo aguantan, dicen que cansa escuchar lo mismo y lo mismo. La historia de un muerto aturde a los vivos, igual que las locuras incomodan a la gente que se dice cuerda.
El muerto queda fuera del escenario, es la víctima, la patética víctima que si planifica venganza, se convierte en un muerto detestable; la sociedad no lo soporta, prefiere al asesino, incluso, le buscan un pretexto para justificar su crimen. Si de la boca del muerto sale una palabra en contra del asesino, hay susto. Primero por su condición de muerto, segundo, porque siempre hablará por la herida, entonces, dirán que no es objetivo, se verá como injusto en sus apreciaciones, con respecto al traidor y a la situación.
El muerto solo sirve para que hablen cualquier cosa sobre él, para preparar café y tomarlo en su nombre. Para el chisme, para las alabanzas hipócritas, porque todo muerto resulta ser bueno, eso dicen. Pero claro, lo prefieren lejos, bajo tierra.
El muerto es quien sufre más, no los que quedan intactos, los que dicen padecer por él, mucho menos los asesinos. Si la sociedad no sanciona al criminal, este olvida, es más, su objetivo principal es llegar al olvido, para que nadie lo señale como culpable. Eso en el caso de que sienta remordimiento, sino, solo será una historia más. Mientras tanto, quien recibe la ofensa, no olvida, aunque pregone inteligencia y estabilidad emocional. No olvida, tiene una memoria audaz que recalentará los recuerdos cuando alguien, en cualquier circunstancia, le falle.
El muerto está solo como los locos. Un muerto que respire espanta a cualquiera. No es especial, es raro.
Los amantes exigen cosas imposibles, porque el amor no conoce de lógica, aturde hasta al más serio gobernante. Y este muerto amaba como ama el amor, como decía Fernando Pessoa. Este muerto pudo perdonar la traición, porque el amor cuando es incondicional lo perdona todo, es un ciego abandonado que va detrás de su madre, pidiéndole abrigo…
Pero este muerto, no le duele la traición, ni que no lo quieran. Le duele la crueldad del ser humano, la sangre fría que tuvo el ser amado para disparar con ayuda del enemigo.
Es cierto que el amor coquetea con el drama y tal vez Jorge Luis Borges tenía razón, cuando decía que el amor trae más desgracias que placeres, pero que la felicidad del amor es tan grande que más vale ser desdichado muchas veces para ser feliz una. Si tomamos en cuenta esta idea, entonces, el amor es la felicidad que buscan los mortales; pero se trata de momentos, solo a ratos, no es eterno como nos dijeron las novelas, los sacerdotes, los profesores de escuela, las madres, etcétera.
¿Y será que el amor dura hasta que se lo encuentra? Cuando ya se lo tiene puede ser un seguro adiós.
El ser humano vive para conseguir felicidad. Cuando la adquiere, por ejemplo en lo material, dice sentirse vacío —aunque un problema es más divertido pasarlo con un buen vino que con agua potable, a veces ni eso— pues lo que busca en realidad, es amor y que este sea eterno. Porque el amor suele pasar de la felicidad a la desdicha o bueno, en algunos casos, a la costumbre. Es decir, el amor en sí, ya tiene sus riesgos, tiene ese peligro de acabarse…
Este muerto entiende esto, pero no entiende que lo acribillen, como un niño hambriento al cual lo amarran de manos y pies en un cuarto lleno de comida. Bajo estas circunstancias, para este muerto el mundo se divide en dos: en buenos y malos, no hay tintas medias. Y es lógico su descontento contra la humanidad que se ha convertido en un monstruo y que nos quiere terminar con su indiferencia, como menciona Michel Houellebecq, autor de Plataforma.
La gente dice entender al muerto, le da consejos rápidos, pero en realidad no les importa, cada uno tiene su vida; el muerto, exceso de tiempo para triturarse con su memoria en donde se aloja lo que una vez fue amor.
Aunque haya nacido ya muerto, nunca se dio cuenta de su condición, se creía Dios hasta que un mortal lo volvió nada, porque con el ser amado no caben las armas: uno es la criatura más indefensa.
Ser mortal le costó, incluso fue al psiquiatra luego de esa mañana en el mar. Muchas pastillas de Xanax y de Fluoxetina no lo dejaron como era antes. Ya nada será igual. Inventará su existencia para pasar como fantasma entre los vivos.
Su amado en varias ocasiones le dijo que no era cariñoso, a pesar de que el muerto entregaba todo lo que tenía. Error, hay humanos que se niegan al todo, prefieren un poco para tener el dominio, el todo sale de sus manos. Solo los valientes aceptan el todo, porque a la vez es la terrible nada.
El amor es descontento y para que dure parece que le gusta vivir en la adrenalina de la incertidumbre.
En tal caso, si este muerto solo tenía tristeza en sus bolsillos, la entregaba transparente. “Te ofrezco la amargura de un hombre que ha mirado largamente la luna solitaria, te puedo dar mi soledad, mi oscuridad, el hambre de mi corazón…” decía Borges.
Nadie quiere a los tristes. Todo mundo busca la felicidad, prefieren a los muertos de la risa…
Ahora, el mar está dentro de este muerto, sus venas están llenas de sal y en la cabeza habitan olas enloquecidas. Arrodillarse frente a una puerta cerrada de un bar no sirvió; ni tomar una joya preciada de su padre, para entregarla como regalo de cumpleaños. Todo se borró como las huellas que quedan en la arena…
¿La joya? Una cámara fotográfica con la que se contó la historia de la familia. El muerto no alcanzó a entregar este regalo al cumpleañero, él lo mató antes…
“Ahora sí vas a aprender a ser mujercita” le decía el amado cuando el muerto empezó a quedarse solo y él, cumpliendo todos los deseos del amado… incluso se arrojó a los prostíbulos para demostrarle que la santidad había terminado… y allí las putas lo protegieron. Hubo más humanidad en ellas, que en las señoritas que se hacen llamar decentes…
Allí, en el prostíbulo le decían escritor, un muerto escritor, qué ironía, si los muertos no pueden hacer nada. Lo llamaban así, porque ellas decían que todo escritor sufre y él tenía esa facilidad…
El muerto está entre nosotros, para hablar con él hay que saber esperar, teme que otra vez lo asesinen, pues sí llegó a pronunciar: mi amor, cuando tomó valor y lo sintió… pero tampoco sirvió… fue borrado con un click.
Camina lento como un niño miedoso… intuye que por el momento la justicia está en que sus asesinos se merecen, pues los dos conocen en qué consiste el crimen perfecto. Los dos, sabrán cómo matarse…

Gabriel ZambranoAna Minga. En Literatura ha incursionado en la poesía y en el relato corto. En narrativa obtuvo el primer lugar con el cuento “A orillas del desnudo”, en Villa Pedraza, España. En poesía ha ganado certámenes en Venezuela, Argentina y Perú. Su primer libro de poesía se titula Pandemonium. Su segundo poemario A Espaldas de Dios fue una obra seleccionada para representar al Ecuador en el Certamen Hispanoamericano de la Lira de Oro; este texto ha sido traducido al francés y al inglés. Su tercera obra Pájaros Huérfanos fue escrita en un manicomio como parte de una investigación de la escritora. En el 2010, The Bitter Oleander, A Magazine of Contemporary International Poetry & Short Fiction la selecciona como una de las mejores escritoras latinoamericanas.


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